I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
