You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
