Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize