Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
