god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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