i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
