Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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