She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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