I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
