Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
