You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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