we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize