so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
