last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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