She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
