I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
