That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
