she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
No subtext here. People are naked.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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