Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
