you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize