just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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