So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's blow job season.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize