I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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