I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
