Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
