I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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