so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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