whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize