fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
