I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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