A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We're too hungover to prance.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
