please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
