I CAN MOONWALK!
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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