Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize