You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
