there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
