Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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