I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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