On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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