Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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