I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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