somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
