u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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