Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
