Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize