feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
