let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
