are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
