WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
