I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize