and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's shark week go big or go home
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
