I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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