Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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