i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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