Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Two words: nipple clamps
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