Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The ass gains better be worth it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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